My "Great Expectations"

A few days ago, I was at the Jolly Bargeman with Joe and Mr. Wopsle. As Mr. Wopsle was telling us a story about a murder case when a man named Mr. Jaggers came to tell me that I had some great expectations. I recognized this man by the smell of scented soap, which was on the man at Miss Havisham's house. Mr. Jaggers informed me that a benefactor wants me to become a gentleman and live in a new sphere of life. Since that day, I have been dealing with even more internal conflicts. Joe is upset about my expectations, which makes it difficult for me. I want to be excited about this new life, but I also have to recognize the pain that it could cause my friends and family. People such as Uncle Pumblechook treat me differently now; it's as if they suddenly have some respect for me. While I rode in the carriage heading away from home, I realized that I am actually upset and guilty about leaving my family and what is familiar to me.

"All night there were coaches in my broken sleep, going to wrong places instead of to London....fantastic failures of journeys occupied me until the day dawned."

-Pip explaining his anxiety, page 169

"I deliberated with an aching heart whether I would not get down when we changed horses and walk back, and have another evening at home, and a better parting."

-Pip having second thoughts about his leave, page 170

Miss Havisham's House

Recently I have been making visits to Miss Havisham's House. She is a bizarre old woman who knows nothing of time. Miss Havisham lives in a dilapidated old house, and it seems as though she still thinks it is her wedding day. Everything is aged and yellow, including the dress that she is still wearing. All the clocks are stopped at twenty-to-nine. This creepy residence has been worsening my mental state, which has not been great recently. One day, I thought I saw her figure outside the house, hanging in front of me. A girl named Estella lives with Miss Havisham who sometimes makes fun of me and other times is very friendly. Even my guilt has been getting worse; I told lies to my family about what I did at her house. Also, I fought a boy about my age and injured him at Miss Havisham's. Yesterday I was bound to Joe, meaning that I will have to serve as his apprentice. I have decided that I really do not want to work as a blacksmith for the rest of my life. This is another situation that is causing me to be confused about my feelings.

"And then I told Joe that I felt very miserable, and that I hadn't been able to explain myself to Mrs. Joe and Pumblechook who were so rude to me, and that there had been a beautiful young lady at Miss Havisham's who was dreadfully proud, and that she had said I was common..."

-Pip explaining his feelings, page 73

"My mind grew uneasy on the subject of the pale young gentleman. The more I thought of the fight, and recalled the pale young gentleman on his back in various stages of puffy and incrimsoned countenance, the more certain it appeared that something would be done to me."

-Pip describing his thoughts of the fight, page 98

Feeling Guilty

Yesterday as I was visiting my family's graves, a came in contact with a convict. This rough, dirty man ordered me to bring him wittles and a file for him. So this morning I stole bread, cheese, mincemeat, brandy, and some meat from my pantry. I feel terribly guilty for robbing my sister, Mrs. Joe. She has not been the best sister to me, seeing as she raised me "by hand." However, she has taken care of me and I feel like I have done the wrong thing by stealing from her. By this point, it seems as if I am off the hook because the convict did not tell anyone that he knew me.

In addition, during Christmas dinner, I was constantly harassed by the guests. They have described me as a nuisance and a terrible boy. Joe is the only one similar to me who I can confide in, although I haven't told him about the robbery because I don't want to hurt our close friendship. Joe is the only one equal to me, and we have developed a stronger relationship recently.

-Pip

"My state of mind regarding the pilfering from which I had been so unexpectedly exonerated, did not impel me to frank disclosure; but I hope it had some dregs of good at the bottom of it."

-Pip describing his mixed feelings over the robbery, page 42

"Young as I was, I believe that I dated a new admiration of Joe from that night. We were equals afterwards, as we had been before; but, afterwards at quiet times when I sat looking at Joe and thinking about him, I had a new sensation of feeling conscious that I was looking up to Joe in my heart."

-Pip describing his close friendship with Joe, page 51

First Posting

Shane Coffield
Pip
Period 7/8
February 22, 2010